I Cannot Swim the Distance
by dancing in daydreams
Summary: Dwarves are too heavy to swim, but as Bilbo finds out, they have a different way of crossing rivers...


Bilbo sat up and rubbed his eyes. The sun was already fairly high in the sky but only a few of the dwarves were up or stirring. They had all desperately needed their rest after escaping from goblins, wargs and Azog the previous day and Gandalf had said they would still reach his friend's house before nightfall even if they slept late.

Bilbo stretched and made his way to the river. He stank of goblin filth and smoke and couldn't wait for a nice bath. It was a warm day so his clothes would hopefully dry quickly.

When Bilbo reached the small stretch of shore, he realised he wasn't alone. Kíli was in the river with water up to his chin and waved at him.

Bilbo frowned. Didn't Kíli know how dangerous water could be? There were plenty of tales about hobbits drowning. Bilbo, like any sensible hobbit, made sure to stay well away from deep water. But of course, these dwarves had no common sense at all.

Bilbo chewed on his lips. Should he call out a warning and risk being mocked again after he had finally been accepted by all the dwarves? But then, it was always better to be safe than sorry.

He opened his mouth to call, but Kíli ploughed forward at that moment, completely disappearing under the surface. Bilbo gasped and remembered that some Men, risk-taking fools that they were, liked pretending to drown themselves by doing what they called "diving". Perhaps dwarves knew the same trick.

Bilbo shuffled his feet nervously. Occasionally, small groups of bubbles rose to the surface. Surely, Kíli should not be taking this long to resurface? Bilbo couldn't just stand by and do nothing.

"Help! I think Kíli is drowning!" He shouted when a larger burst of bubbles broke the surface. He ran back towards the camp as quickly as he could.

The dwarves came rushing and Bilbo led them back to the river.

"What happened? Where is he?"Thorin demanded, worry in his voice.

"He just walked out into the river and didn't come back to the surface! I wanted to stop him, but I was too late."

"Did he show any signs of distress? How long has he been below the surface?" Dori asked.

"No, but he has been in there for at least five minutes!"

"Then why would you think he's drowning, laddie?" Balin looked puzzled.

"Surely he can't survive under water for that long! No, don't do that! Stay here! You'll get yourself killed as well!"

Fíli was barging into the river as well and took no notice of Bilbo's frantic yells.

"Thorin, do something! You can't just let both of your heirs drown themselves!" Bilbo said, urgently tugging at Thorin's arm as Fíli disappeared into the river as well.

"He's just going in to see if everything is alright with Kíli. And Kíli ought to have at least enough breath left for another half an hour. I don't know why you are making such a fuss about it. You make it sound as though Kíli is dying when he is probably only crossing the river to see if there is a path on the other side."

"But... you'd use a bridge to cross a river, or take a boat or swim if you are feeling very adventurous! You don't just..."

There was a loud splash and Fíli's head emerged from the river.  
"Everything's fine! He's almost on the other side. No sign of any trouble."

Bilbo gaped. "What? But how?"

"Don't hobbits ever just walk through the river if there is no bridge?" Dwalin asked.

"Not if it is deeper than our knees and definitely not if it goes above our heads! No hobbit wants to drown!"

"But you can just hold your breath, can't you?" Nori asked.

"Not for five minutes or more! I think I could barely hold my breath for one or two minutes."

The dwarves exchanged looks.

"Let's hope the river is not too deep, then," Bofur said. "Or else it's likely that..."

Bombur jabbed him in the side with his elbow. "I thought you wanted to stop frightening our burglar."

"Oh, right."

Bilbo huffed. "That's very reassuring. If there are risks, I would like to know them."

There was another, more distant splash and Kíli resurfaced on the other side of the river with a wide grin and a wave. He made some dwarvish gestures after he had waded to the shore and Fíli replied in the same way.

"He says the river is shallow enough that Bilbo's head will stay above the water if one of us carries him on their shoulders and Gandalf won't have any problems either. There's a path on the other shore like Gandalf said as well as some raspberries, so we won't have to go hungry entirely. I just hope that greedy brickhead leaves a few for us."

"We should break camp," Thorin decided. "There's no use in staying here any longer than necessary."

They packed up their few meagre belongings, tied together three logs of driftwood and fastened the belongings and weapons to them so they wouldn't get too wet. Dori, Balin, Bifur and Glóin were chosen to pull the makeshift raft across the river.

"Climb onto my shoulders, lad," Dwalin said.

Bilbo hesitated. "Is there really no other way?"

"Dwalin is the tallest, you'll be least likely to drown if he is the one carrying you," Fíli said.

"I don't think you have any other options," Nori said. "Unless, of course, you see a bridge, want to walk through the river yourself or go with the baggage."

Bilbo cast a taxing look at the logs. They looked stable enough for what little baggage they had, but he didn't really want to trust them with his life.

"I think I prefer Dwalin's shoulders," Bilbo mumbled.

The following few minutes once again made Bilbo wish he had never left his comfortable smial. The water flowed rather more swiftly than it had seemed to from the shore and Bilbo tried not to think about what would happen if Dwalin lost foot or if the current swept Bilbo away. At one point, the water almost came up to Bilbo's mouth. He closed his eyes and swayed on Dwalin's shoulders, desperately trying not to lose hold.

When he finally climbed down in the shallow water on the other side with trembling knees, Bilbo realised that he had pulled out quite a few strands of the already sparse hair at the sides of Dwalin's head.

"I am so very sorry," Bilbo stammered. "I did not mean to..."

Dwalin grunted and strode over to the raspberry bushes, his boots squelching with every step and his clothes dripping.

"Don't worry," Kíli said, sitting down next to Bilbo on a boulder. "He's not really angry. He's had worse than that. My mother always says the reason he has so little hair in the first place is because Fíli and I pulled out so much of it when we were dwarflings and he gave us piggy-back rides."

Bilbo had to chuckle despite himself.

"Besides," Kíli added, "you didn't drown and that's worth something, isn't it?"

He handed Bilbo a pouch and Bilbo looked inside.  
"Raspberries?"

Kíli shrugged and rubbed his ear.  
"As a little apology for earlier. I didn't realise hobbits couldn't cross rivers that way. I didn't mean to make you worry, so I thought the least I could do was make sure you got breakfast before the others ate every single berry that could be found."

Bilbo glanced at the raspberry bushes. They were indeed looking rather empty already.

"Thank you," Bilbo smiled. Some nice, sweet berries were exactly what he needed in order to calm down.


End file.
